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Linda Monk's avatar

"Here I touch gratitude, grief’s often sidelined sibling." So powerful!

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Kellye Rowland's avatar

I am so grateful for this today. My friend died yesterday and I am in shock. He was so young, younger than me. Died in his sleep. He was one of the first people I knew when I came out as bi and he was a good friend to my partner and I. He played guitar and was such a talented musician. His name was Jared. When I listened to this I sobbed but mostly for his partner as I can barely fathom what he must be feeling right now. So thank you for this Seb. I felt held and I’m just so so so grateful. Sending you lots of love. ❀️

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

Oh Kellye. I'm so very sorry to hear about this loss. I hope you're taking good care of yourself and feeling all the goodness you shared with Jared. Holding you in my heart today. Much love to you my dear.

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Kellye Rowland's avatar

Thank you so much. πŸ™β€οΈ

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DiANE's avatar

Oh my gosh Kellye my heart hurts for you, Jared’s family and friends and all who were close to him. I will always believe there is a reason for everything and I realize that can be interpreted many different ways. I believe there was a reason you tuned into Sebene’s Meditation when you did. May all of Sebene’s meditations and discussions on grief bring you comfort. Through Sharon Salzberg I have learned the power of loving kindness. bessings; I am sending you, Jared, and all those he loved LOVING KINDNESS. β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ή

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Kellye Rowland's avatar

Thanks so much for your kindness Diane. Sending love right back to you as well. <3

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Ami Campbell's avatar

I recently attended a grief and gratitude circle where I realized how many tears I have been holding back, and how much I've avoided the friend who suffered a great loss of her son. This post gave me a way forward, to go to my friend and allow all the tears, and then bring the tea and the memories along too. Thank you for your wisdom and honesty.

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

Beautiful Amy! Thanks for sharing.

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DiANE's avatar

Thank you very much for sharing this, Linda. Between your beautiful honesty and Sebene’s beautiful well earned gifts of compassion, wisdom, kindness not to mention one of my favorite humans and meditation teacher, I will be able to visit a friend for a similar reason. πŸ™πŸΌ

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Tracy Tynan's avatar

Wonderful piece! Thank you so much!

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Suzy Trimmer's avatar

Thank you for this. And also, sound of music ! Yes ! β€œclimb every mountain” -especially when I hear it live- hits me so hard - very cathartic for me :)

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

It's so good, right!?

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Mal Pronouns's avatar

I took a course in college about grief and death, and learned about the five stages of grief and I remember my reaction being -it can’t be that simple. And I am perpetually profoundly grateful for you creating this space and forum for us to think beyond - even topple down the walls of what we’ve been taught in this country, which is so harmful. I grew up in a family where expressing emotions, especially sadness and crying were rare, and that was incredibly hard for me to believe that was β€œnormal.” And I love the tradition you and your sister have of The Sound of Music. How do we solve a problem like grief? 🎹 πŸ’šπŸ˜˜ Let’s f-in wail and cry when we need to.

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

It's amazing how much we want quick fixes and easy steps in this culture... how do you solve a problem like modernity? Much love to you.

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Mal Pronouns's avatar

Nailed it. 🎡

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Marilyn Sandperl's avatar

So beautiful. I read this aloud to my husband and cried though the entire thing. Thank you, Selene.

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

So sweet. Thanks for reading Marilyn.

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taunΔ“ lyons's avatar

Tears! Your words are so resonant right now. Such a blessing.

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

Yay crying! xox

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Liza D's avatar

So much to grieve for and this comes at a perfect time πŸ™πŸ½

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

xoxox

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Jodi Rhoden's avatar

Placebos!!! 🀯

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Jungwon Kim's avatar

I loved reading about Mulalem’s way of greeting youβ€”wailing, then tea. Intuitively, it feels healthy and beautiful to let grief flow free, like a river. Thank you also for the links! Can’t wait to explore more and cross reference of course with Korean pansori singing, which embodies grief too. 🩡

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

Thanks for reading my friend! And I want to read anything you have to say about grief... please!

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Paul LΓ©pine's avatar

I just listened to your meditation. it allowed to feel the love for my mother, a feeling I had lost at her Alzheimer's disease. Since she passed away, I felt numbed and sad. And now I'm feeling the love also. Thanks Sebene. Aucun merci ne sera suffisant.

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

Thank you for sharing the love for her with us Paul. Sending you lots of love back in this mourning. xoxo

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Rebecca Baugniet's avatar

Thank you for this. ❀️

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Fariha RΓ³isΓ­n's avatar

Appreciate you so much dear Sebene, this was so resonant!

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

Thank you sweetie. I appreciate you too! xoxox

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Tamar Zinn's avatar

Thank you Sebene. As someone who has long experienced emotions through physical sensations, your words have given me permission to express my grief however it emerges. Our western cultures generally view intense displays of grief as somehow primitive and inappropriate β€” but for me it is essential to give voice to the depth of my anguish.

With gratitude and love to you.

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

It's true Tamar. We've become so limited in our expressions. Much love to you.

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Helen Silva Bratko's avatar

Hi Sebene, thank you so much for this post about grief and mourning. I love what your mom's friend did, how very special. I'm working on expressing my sadness more and I'm finding it healing. I'm dealing with a lot of unprocessed childhood trauma which is more complicated situation to mourn but I'm working on it. I sure wish we had ritualis for all of this. Thanks for sharing yours.

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Sebene Selassie's avatar

We all have so much to mourn and it's wonderful when we let ourselves do it. Sending you much love.

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