🌈 🌕 Ancestors to Elements
it’s a full moon in sagittarius 🌕🌈
In two weeks, I’ll be leading Cosmic Collage! SOLSTICE — an exploration of light & shadow. Most of you have probably done some shadow work (even if you didn’t know it). In this workshop we’ll use this celestial moment to investigate our shadows and what it means to truly shine (and also make some art). Come contemplate & create in community. Sunday, June 18th, 1–3:30 pm ET on Zoom (and recorded for those who sign up). ☀️ REGISTER ☀️
Listen to me read this essay:
Hi friends
Happy Pride Month!🌈 🥳 🌈
Those of you who’ve taken any recent online offering with me know that I have been tithing by donating 10% of all registration fees to different organizations (always giving some or all of that to the Manna–hatta Fund as one small step beyond land acknowledgement). I will continue to do so for all my self–run workshops and courses.
And I’ve decided to tithe my Substack income as well. Moving forward, I will donate 10% of subscription fees to a different cause each month.
In honor of Pride and to continue spotlighting the ongoing anti-trans tyranny, June’s donation will go to Trans Lifeline. 🏳️⚧️ Thank you for your support. 🏳️⚧️
What’s been happening in your worlds? I hope lots of really good things — and maybe some perspective/possibility with anything that feels tough.
These couple of weeks, I’ve been faced with some health challenges (at first, I “mistyped” and wrote health changes… Isn’t that all health/life really is? Change?).
My buddy La says this Tibetan prayer every morning: Grant that I may be given the appropriate difficulties and sufferings on this journey, so that my heart may be truly awakened and that my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled.
I would love to incorporate more prayer in my life. I do NOT need that prayer.
As you may know, I have had plenty of “difficulties and sufferings on this journey.” My body has auto-enrolled me in an accelerated curriculum on liberation. And, not to brag, but I am acing this course work. Don’t get me wrong, I. do. not. want. to. continue. in. this. degree. program. any. longer. Like, get me out of this fucking challenge-college and let me graduate already! Geez.
But, this is the truth of my reality in this lifetime: illness, pain, uncertainty, incapacitation, surgeries, sickness, literally almost dying a couple of times, etc are my advanced placement tests for demonstrating mastery in the areas of open heartedness 101, comparative wellness and well-being, and feeling free.
Like my favorite quote (by Charlotte Joko Beck) says: joy is exactly what's happening, minus our opinion of it. Well, that is how I have quoted it for years. The full quote is this: Until we know that joy is exactly what's happening, minus our opinion of it, we're going to have only a small amount of joy.
She goes on to say that joy and happiness are not the same. Happiness has an opposite – unhappiness (eff why eye: I was not always happy these past couple of weeks). I think she’s using joy as a synonym for freedom, the kind of freedom that has no conditions.
I want to have large amounts of joy… I choose all the joy/freedom.
Image ID: A photo of a raccoon on its hind legs holding the face of a fawn with text that reads: THE PAIN THAT YOUVE BEEN FEELING CANT COMPARE TO THE JOY THAT’S COMING
I am currently grateful for a multitude of blessings which top of mind include the capacity to host many loves in my sunny, spacious rent stabilized apartment (basically, the NYC jackpot), my ability to walk (will never get old), but aslo biking everywhere in Brooklyn, living somewhere so long that practically every time I leave my home I run into someone I adore, and my recent fave: relishing the vibrancy of the city with Jacky and Joel — walking around like tourists, eating in a restaurant across from Conan O’Brien and Stephen Colbert, long & proper catch ups, and reminiscing on all the decades of friendship between us.
Image ID: Joel, me and Jacky for our album cover.
This month’s In My Experience… is about a huge topic that I will not be able to finish answering (ever) and will return to in future newsletters (forever) and, yes, I am keeping this running list of things I said I’ll talk about again (please leave any omissions and recs in the comments):
re-enchantment & all things mystical (the below is in this realm but I hereby challenge myself to bring all the woo into everything, everywhere, all at once)
sex & the erotic as power (special shoutout to all my middle-aged, peri/menopausal, recently–single, women–friends who are having some of the best sex of our lives #ifykyk, plus: #thingsthepatriarchydoesnotwantyoutoknow)
money & reciprocity & why billionaires should not exist (Jeff Bezos is worth ten times more “rice” today than when this video was made… TEN TIMES!)
the ubiquity of global anti-Blackness & the ubiquity of Black genius & the paradox of Blackness not being a real thing (this one is so dauntingly complex)
Thank you for being here.
May we all know joy as exactly what’s happening.
With love,
Sebene
P.S. a couple of things:
I’m sad Jocelyn and I had to cancel our April program because of an entirely different set of “health changes” 🙃. AND I am super excited for her new course Channel (which I will be taking myself) — registration closes 6pm Sunday. Hope to see you there!
If you are free next weekend and longing to get your joy on, come to Omega for Groove Is in the Heart: Igniting Joy for Individual & Collective Liberation.
What is the fine line between dropping all identities as an emptiness practice in absolute reality while balancing and navigating identity empowerment and liberation in subjective reality?
Dear Ancestors to Elements*
Thank you for your brilliantly worded, impossible to answer question about my absolutely 🤪 favorite topic on which I wrote an incredibly–imperfect–entire–ass book, and with which I will likely spend the rest of my life grappling, and for which I will now provide the complete & definitive answer (that last part’s a lie). It’s clear we are in an accelerated process of planetary change and that this [gestures around at everything] is NOT working. However, I do believe your expansive question highlights a key, so I truly appreciate your determination in asking it. I'll see you and raise you one paradox because, as you know, this advice column does not give advice.
Both indigenous wisdom and modern science affirm the truth that absolutely everything throughout time and space is interconnected, yet, mainstream culture does not emphasize this wonderous truth — the great mystery. Instead, dominant education and media embed us in the delusion of separation — the great disenchantment. The consequences of emphasizing separation over interconnection can be seen in our many global crises: environmental, economic, political and social. At the same time, many modern spiritual spaces dismiss our differences — bypassing into “but we’re all one,” not realizing our uniqueness is sacred too.
In “You Belong,” I say: we are not separate and we are not the same in an attempt to simplify the complex truth that we are interconnected and we are individuals, we are universal and we are unique. At some point, all of our ancestors understood this elemental sacred truth. They existed within a numinous, enchanted worldview while embedded firmly in lived reality. Magic was real and the real was sacred. Patriarchy, imperialism, colonization, enslavement, persecution, migration, assimilation, and individual trauma, shame & fear disconnected most of us from ancestral pathways to nature, embodiment, and personal empowerment.
How do we remember the truth that we live in an ensouled world where our divine differences do not negate our sacred interconnection?
In My Experience… I’ve learned that my “fine line” will be different from others’ fine lines; as I continually cultivate my own curiosity & understanding about this sacred paradox of unity & uniqueness, then I discover divine portals back to… well, whatever I may call it in that moment: mystery, source, soul, consciousness, the infinite, god… love.
Growing up, I did not learn to attend to my divinity. My father’s father converted to Lutheranism (or, I should say, he was converted by missionaries) while my mother was Ethiopian Orthodox. Because of this, my parents didn’t have a shared tradition and we did not grow up with spiritual direction. In addition, I was assimilated into largely white spaces and norms, feeling alienated from both my immigrant community and the larger Black culture. I was pretty unmoored from understanding either side of this paradox – my sacred interconnection or my sacred identity – and for a long time I was fairly confused about where I belonged at all, if anywhere. This confusion led to the awareness that I had a whole lot to learn about a whole lot — one of the most humbling and valuable realizations of my life. Curiosity about what I do not yet know (which remains a whole lot) is maybe the best skill I’ve ever developed.
As a young adult, I began to recognize the impact of race, gender & ethnicity in the world and on my life. I explored how being a Black, immigrant woman informed my experiences. I started to get politicized. I studied issues of identity in school, and I practiced them in community. Even with all my assimilation, there is a lot I came to comprehend about this part of the paradox (the we are not the same part) that someone without marginalized identities might not get. But, still, my awareness was almost entirely from a secular outlook.
So, despite the fact that I explored many spiritual teachings since I was a teen, and I theoretically understood sacred interconnection, I found it difficult to continuously remember and practice the truth that we are not separate. Practice is the key point here. While I had school, work, and activism to help me understand my social identities, I did not have regular and embodied forms to remind me about sacredness within my identities. My spiritual and political lives felt very separate from each other.
As I got older and deepened my spiritual understanding, I did begin to practice in affinity groups and explore what it means to integrate identity, culture, and social realities into spiritual life. I quickly learned that 1) this is hella messy and 2) a lot of “spiritual people” look down on anything messy. When I shared these challenges with my late friend Jim, he said “Yeah, they don’t understand that messy does not equal not skillful.” When I was the executive director of a meditation center, I posted a note next to my desk with that very equation: messy ≠ not skillful (thank you, Jim). It takes dedication and patience and tender care to do the work of sacred paradox in community.
At the same time, practicing in a fairly secularized version of western Buddhism that emphasized a stripped down, silent practice that (to me) felt desacralized, I leaned towards ancient rituals in an attempt towards re-enchantment. Yet, these practices never felt completely right for me. It was like I was wearing clothes fitted for a different body. I learned prayers and prostrations, I created altars and memorized chants. It always felt a bit performative. For me. I mean no shade. I recognize that different things feels natural and connected for different folks.
I will say, all of it was helpful. Mine has been a winding path involving many different forms and practics, learning from different traditions and teachers. Of course, this means I can’t summarize everything here. What I will say, is that the most powerful practices for me now are the ones that encourage me simply to trust my own knowing. And to express this. Yin. Yang. In. Out. Receptive. Active. I am learning not to diminish any part of my experience.
I think I always thought I’d finally arrive at some destination called “sacred interconnection.” Now I recognize that this process itself, that is, that life itself is sacred interconnection. All of it.
My forms and practices now include so many things — all the things: stillness, movement, silence, singing, nature, matcha, meals, work, play, sex, swimming, Wordle, bike rides, books, movies, Spelling Bee, art, piles of unread New Yorkers, solitide, community, prayer, ritual, moon, sun, planets, cosmos…
In 2017, about four months after my mom died, I went to see a medium. I had seen this person over the years for psychic readings but this was the first time I saw her to try and connect to someone who was no longer alive. Without going into details, I’ll say, she most definitely, totally connected to my mom. It was after that meeting, that I started really talking to my mother’s spirit — mostly asking her for support as I navigated finding a place for my sister to live which opened me up to connecting to other ancestors which I continue to explore.
I have a little altar to my mom in my office. I have other little altars all over my apartment. Actually, pretty much every significant surface in every room has some small space of offering or remembrance — many of them hold objects from Ethiopia or from special travels, there are gifts from friends, mementos, money. I have tarot and oracle cards in multiple rooms and certain cards stay out for days or weeks at a time. My two “main” altars have some of my most meaningful items including my Ethiopian Mary & St. George icon on one and the Shipibo tapestry Naiti and Salem brought back from Peru on the other. The larger altars have symbols representing all the elements: soil to represent earth, a small container where I freshen water every few days, incense to symbolize air, and a candle for fire. I engage one of these two altars at least a few times a week. The altar in my office is where I practice my planetary prayers. And, as I’ve mentioned, I charge my collages on these altars (as you see above).
And I am merely describing some surfaces and objects in my home. I could never truly explain how those spaces and things are just symbolic representations for the intention I have to regard every part of my life and this entire world as alive and ensouled and divine.
I have over thirty plants in my apartment; my plants are also altars. The crystals and herbs I use to clear my space… altars. The dresser and all my beautiful jewelry on top (much of it from my mom) that I hardly ever wear but polish regularly – an altar… My sofa and chairs with woven fabrics from around the world, my bed (definitely my bed), my coffee table holding books of poetry and art and literature (much of it about race, gender & ethnicity)… altars. My Notion App dashbord where I started this post is literally called “Digital Altar.” Substack… an altar.
“Altars” just means intentions, reminders, practices to help me bring reverence to all. Altars remind me to remain curious about what I don’t yet know, and ways I may be dismissing or desacralizing someone or something. Including myself.
It’s all one infinite altar to every ancestor and every element.
* I say ancestors to elements because seemingly every culture on Earth has engaged both of these metaphors. Ancestral veneration existed throughout the ancient world and and is still found on every continent and in all major religions. Elemental practices are integrated into healing and spiritual traditions from Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurveda to countless other indigenous systems including those of Africa, the Americas, and Europe. I believe these two metaphors offer a simple and profound framework to explore this sacred paradox of relative (ancestors) and absolute (elements) to help us find pathways back to interconnection. Ancestors to Elements is also the name of a course I’ve been wanting to develop for a long while but health changes keep coming… fingers crossed, it will be happening this fall. 🤞🏾
Come celebrate Solstice with 2 hrs 30min of meditation, reflection, and collaging to explore your light & shadow and what it means to truly shine.
Soulful Cycles: Creating Intention, Ritual, & Ceremony for Life Changes
A 3-week exploration for finding sacredness within those changes that come to us unbidden and those that we long to call in. On Zoom :: Wed, 7/26, 8/2, 8/9 :: 6–8 pm ET
REGISTRATION OPENS JUNE 18
This is my first time receiving this column. I chose to listen while laying down, and i felt so soothed and connected, by your words, your voice, and the beauty of everything that brought me to this moment that you could share yourself in this way. My deepest gratitude to you.
The garden is the mind
The house is the psyche
And every surface, an altar! Altarnation
With cosmic blessings~