Why, yes, those are two separate audio links β one below, one above. My reading of the essay is right before the opening βHi friendsβππΎ. And thatβs a guided meditation at the very top of the email ππΎ (hereβs an archive of meditations).
π«π BACK TO SCHOOL VIBES ππ«
After taking August off from teaching, Iβve got LOTS going on this fall:
Lin Wang Gordon and I are leading a BIPOC Meditative Hike in the Hudson Valley on Saturday, Sepetmber 7. REGISTER HERE β sliding scale available.
Make Sacred Space is back for twelve Sunday evenings this fall. REGISTRATION IS OPEN β sign up for all three months for a discount.
My signature course (and this newsletterβs namesake), Ancestors to Elements, is a creative & soulful 6-week experience created especially for these challenging times. On Zoom every Wednesday October 9 β November 13 from 6β8pm ET. Registration opens September 2nd.
Meditation Party is a huge, fun ongoing experiment to make practice irresistible by centering friendship and hilarity. This time Dan, Jeff and I will be joined by my deep dharma buddy, Aaron Schultz/ DJ DRM, for the Saturday night dance party. October 11β13 at Omega Institute.
Jeff, Dan and I will also be together at the first ever EudΔmonia Summit where there will definitely be some meditation partying. November 1β3 in West Palm Beach, FL.
Listen to me read this essay:
Hi friends
Itβs almost the end of August. Two thirds! 2024 is two thirds over! Whatever this year has brought or wrought, we will never have those months/days/hours/minutes back again. Iβve been reminding myself to relish every single moment of summerβs beauty.
My sister Finot was with me for a week. We had fun watching the Olympics, going to the movies, riding roller coasters at Coney Island (she is a total daredevil!), and visiting with her Brooklyn fans. Also, we are sisters, so we pushed each otherβs buttons. I prefer that she brush her teeth for longer than ten and a half seconds and do not want her to watch endless hours of Power Rangers. She could happily watch endless hours of Power Rangers and tries to spend the minimum amount of time brushing her teeth in order to get back to doing exactly that. All my childhood feelings of responsibility + resentment got kicked up. I had to remind myself that I am no longer an eight year old burdened with the safety and well being of an older sibling but am a grown human lady with plenty of inner and outer resources, including a sister who intellectually may be in a similar place as when we were kids so still needs my care and guidance but who has matured and developed in her own ways. Finot is one of the most positive and loving people I know, and she is growing into greater indepence and power. Since our mom died in 2016, whenever I seem sad or upset, she reassures me βDonβt worry Sebene, Iβm here for you. Youβre my friend.β Iβm lucky to have a sister like her.
How are you? I hope youβre finding space and ways to appreciate any goodness around you.
In honor of Leo season, in todaysβ post I am appreciating myself! Next week is the fourth publication anniversary of You Belong: A Call for Connection. π₯³Β Incredibly, I wrote that book under deadline in under one year while I traveled all over the country attending and teaching silent meditation retreats, mentored thirty five mindfulness teachers in training, participated as a student in two intensive programs, served on two dharma boards, and maintained this newsletter (albeit less frequently & robustly than I do this version). I do not know how I mustered the energy for all that (though I did do most of my writing between 5 and 7 am). It seems like the universe itself directly commissioned my message about belonging to arrive during that first year of COVID. In fact, I was able to make very last-minute, final-edit references to both the global pandemic and the summer of racial reckoning as perfect demonstrations of the inherent truth of our interdependence.
A lot has happened since August 2020. For all of us.
In my own world, the past four years included: A re-occurrence of mega-metastasis. Three months of daily draining my fluid-filled, collapsed lung. Cancer-jelly for a left hip that left me unable to walk without aid for the better part of a year. That same hip breaking on a beach in Costa Rica. [Though I thought it was just βnerve painβ so I did not perceive it as a completely severed femur ball and kept traveling for another week on crutches because everything IS perception and placebos are real!] My 14-year marriage unexpectedly dissolving. Plus plenty of devastation, despondency, and delulu. This period also featured a beautiful (pre-marriage dissolution) three months of weak internet connectivity in Sicily where the night sky inspired my dedication to astrology studies. Glorious visits from, to and with the most incredible network of friends a person could conjure. Dating again for the first time since my late twenties (and discovering that all the lore about sex for older women being the best is totes true!). Launching my own online courses, new teaching collaborations, and this Substack. And abundant feelings of gratitude, joy and love. I continue to be riddled with cancer. Iβve never felt better about life.
My primary insights from all these high-highs and low-lows: 1) If itβs happening, it IS reality and it never, ever, EVER helps to be in contention with reality (including feeling pain and grief) β to quote my friend Jeff: This is the curriculum. 2) Freedom is possible in absolutely any moment β to paraphrase Joko Beck (my first Zen teacherβs teacher): Freedom is whatever is happening, minus our opinion of it. 3) I get to cultivate (and enjoy) my unique contributions for these crucial times β now my turn: Iβm here to preach the gospel of sacred belonging. Also, jokes!
Having a book out definitely inspires my continued contributions. The other day, Finot and my friend Melissa and I were leaving a restaurant and walking up Washington Avenue when a lovely young person named Audra stopped to tell me they read my book (twice!) and how much it affected them. I love receiving unexpected gratitude! [If youβre reading this Audra, Thank you!] Although it is quite strange to make a thing that then goes out into the world and has an entire existence without you. Iβve changed. It does not. I do not I actively disagree with anything I wrote in You Belong. Yet, almost immediately upon its release, I felt distance from the book. [Also, I have some feelings about having my face plastered on the paperback, but if it encourages even one Black person who otherwise wouldnβt to pick up the book, itβs worth the embarassment of having an βuncoolβ cover.] I evolved during and through the writing of it. I would not have created the same version, even by the time it was just completed. And I continue to change. I would definitely not write that particular book now.
Still, I am proud of what I accomplished. Not just finshing a whole entire ass book β I didnβt even touch my advance until I delivered the first full draft for fear that I would never be done and have to return the money. Iβm honored and amazed that people continue to read You Belong. And I am impressed by my bold attempt to write an accessible guide to realityβs most profound paradox β that we are not separate AND we are not the same β without compromising all the inherent complexity and challenges. I cover a LOT in those pages. I highlight the delusion of separation at the heart of our current polycrises (and the epistemicide that caused that original delulu), I explain marginalization using a simple visual that helps people better understand power, I outline how the tendencies of domination operate within each and every one of us, I break down the differences between cultural appropriation and appreciation and dismissal, I coin (as far as I know) a phrase β semiotic vigilance, I address illness and aging and death, and I lucked into having all my physics references checked by a Templeton Prize Laureate. All while getting super nerdy about mindfulness and helping the reader sense their body and feel their feelings and find some freedom. Also, jokes!
But maybe the thing Iβm most proud of in You Belong is the five phrases I crafted for the central structure of the book: ground yourself, know yourself, love yourself, connect yourself, be yourself. I believe these offer a simple and powerful process for belonging because they serve as an experiential framework to be both understood and practiced. Itβs like I happened upon a secret belonging recipe. However, one change I would make is to re-frame them from you to me: ground myself, know myself, love myself, connect myself, be myself. In fact, this move away from the didactic is perhaps the greatest change Iβve experienced as a writer and teacher in these four years, and only occurred because I continue to know myself β including the myriad ways I am still delulu (to get dharma-nerdy about it, because itβs delusion thatβs the real source of all our suffering).
I have a hard time ranking ground, know, love, connect and be in importance. Each one is a powerful node in what is ultimately a non-linear process. Though, I did place love in the center β in the book, I claim (and still believe) that it could encompass all the others. Even so, right now, I am appreciating know β recognizing that know myself is always in a tag-team symbiosis with love myself. For me, to know myself is to be in a process of curiosity and discovery, exploring what feels right for me in my spiritual practice, in my relationships, in my vocation, in my creative endeavors. That may mean going against what others do, even when they insist itβs the way (because it may be their way).
In my early twenties, I read Bird By Bird by the great Anne Lamott. Her βmessy first draftβ rule screwed me over for the next 25 years, until I read this book and finally realized messy first drafts simply do not work for me. I was speaking with a friend about how embarassed Iβd be for you all to see my current writing process. Itβs inefficient and quirky bordering on feral. Not very demure. And it woks for me. Sometimes we need permission to simply be ourselves β while meditating, working, creating, loving, beingβ¦
To wrap up (and get Oprah about it), this is what I know for sure (about myself): I am my ancestors and the elements. I am and am not this body. I contain multitudes and miracles. I am stardust and galaxies near and far. I am ensouled with both destiny and agency. I encompass timelessness and this very moment⦠and this one. I write & teach. I am perfectly imperfect. I am an alive poem. I am waking up. I am getting free. I like injera and berebere and everything ishi. I am vibrating energy patterns connected to everything throughout space since the beginning of our universe. I am you. I am no-thing. I love and am loved by many. I am loved because I love. I am love.
Thank you for joining me. May we continue to get free together, leaving no one and no-thing out of our soulful process of grounding, knowing, loving, connecting and being.
With love,
Sebene
Make Sacred Space is a Sunday gathering where we attune to the Moon through guided meditation, journaling prompts, and open space β all for a soulful start to the week. You can sign up month by month, or for all three months for a discount. SIGN UP FOR ALL 3 MONTHS
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What people say about Make Sacred Space:
I really love this Sunday evening time for nourishment and expression. I look forward to continuing!
I really love Make Sacred Space. The work you put into the music, themes, quotes and prompts is very much appreciated. I treasure the full half hour of mostly silent meditation and your well-placed skillful guidance. Itβs nice to set aside some time at the start of each week in the company of spiritual friends.
This offering is very meaningful to me as it has given me time to hold sacredly for myself as I prepare to enter a new week.
I donβt know what to say. You are uncannily tapped into where Iβm at every dang time!! Why are you such a genius? Your meditations are amazing/insightful. Your journaling prompts hit the nail on the head and get me thinking about things like βduh, of course I need to be thinking about this!β But I wouldnβt have myself. Your musical curation is on point. I love you. Your talent is beyond. Do more of these!
I really loved this space and am looking forward to more!
Thank you for this offering, Sebene, truly. The 7pm start time on a Sunday night was just right and I loved the combination of sitting, reflecting, and creating in a music-filled space with other quiet humans. I have to say the playlist is an unexpected bit of generosity.
π Know Myself